Isn't it amazing how powerful our minds are – when we tell ourselves we want do one thing, but end up doing the opposite – all because our mind refused to cooperate with us. Have you ever considered that you mind may have its own agenda? One thing is for sure, it wants to keep you alive and it wants to try and create the happiness that you, the soul, is trying to experience.
So isn't the mind is completely committed to fulfilling whatever we desire to experience in life? The answer is yes and no. Yes – because it is trying to create the happiness your soul wants to experience in this lifetime. The mind or subconscious mind really is your servant and is trying to fulfill what it believes you want. The mind without a soul is dead. When the soul inhabits the body-mind, the mind comes to life and the mind tries and carries out the souls desires and it is acutely aware of the souls every desire – no matter how much on the back of your mind you are wanting something or how deeply hidden it is in your heart. You may not always remember, but the subconscious always knows and it's there to nudge and remind you of your desires. That's its job and does it very intensely and mathematically.
On the other hand, it may know exactly what you want but will refuse to cooperate with you. It will insist on doing things the way it perceives is best. For example, when you become aware of your true purpose in life, which is to awaken to who you really are, the mind will agree to pursue that purpose so long as you doing it the "mind's way." It doesn't want to do let go and simply allowing consciousness to work through you. It does not like the idea of allow your happiness to come only from the center of your being without any effort or conditions that need to be met. It wants credit because its consciousness perceives it needs it. The mind insists on creating happiness and success –and that's always a formula for disappointment and stress because of the inherent potential for failure.
Its way of achieving happiness is by having, gaining and achieving. It wants to achieve happiness by creating something big through its own efforts. When it gains –it succeeds and only then the logic allows for happiness to be possible. Essentially, the mind's consciousness is on a rat race for happiness.
Even if you show the mind that it is spinning in circles, it will still refuse to give up the race. Doing so would mean its death and your death – and end the whole experience for both of you. By the way, the also mind thinks it is you.
Until we cause the experience of a perceived death of the mind on a number of minor levels and major levels, the mind will continue on its mission to create and "gain" happiness in your life. The mind will try and gain the respect of others, gain the love and acceptance of others, gain significance in life, and even gain self realization or even personal development.
Even if it is a gain of knowledge or personal growth, it is still on the rat race to create and gain happiness and fulfillment.
The only way out of the mind's agenda, even if you are seeking to be a very deeply spiritual being and want to love, forgive and accept others and yourself on a deep level, is to "jump off" the rat race wheel of conditional happiness and focus intensely on Being. Everything else is transient and conditional. Think of what happens when you suddenly don't hate or resent someone because they did a great injustice. Your happiness will fly out the window because you now failed to be the deeply spiritual person you want to accomplish being.
The solution – any desire for gain or accomplishment must die. Once you let your perceive accomplishment die. You will be free to be happy, without accomplishing it, without deserving it - You will be left and the mind will be silent. The mind will be "dead." Your Being will be left.
Acknowledging gain in any way is allowing the mind to continue with its delusion. Here's the disclaimer. It won't be pleasant because the mind does not go away without a fight. It will pull out all of its resources to avoid "dying." It will create depression, sadness, cry out like a victim, anger, anxiety and could even make you feel like vomiting. It has great power, don't underestimate it.
When emotions get intense, simply feel you presence in every cell in your body. This will increase the intensity of your presence and quickly neutralize thoughts and emotions rooted in fear. Commit to Being with all of you heart – and your mind will eventually align with you completely. Are you willing?